just enough pathos

yet again i had a dream.

well,i have chopped off my hair.almost two weeks back.dear ma freaked out completely and lost her sleep for three days.But then she had had no other choice but to accept. now she is used to it.
That day,i  tried revisiting my childhood days.As i sat curled up on the windowsill,holding on tightly to the grill,at SreyaM's place..the sliver of dull summer sky looked morosely back.those days when innocence had scurried away to the rat-holes..as I tried to hold on to it with my old,teddybear,Baabee.and bits of lollypop.I still fondly and often bitterly,remember the long-haired,small girl with allthewideeyedwonder,sitting by the window at the old house,staring up blankly at the samedullsky,trying to fathom the meaning of it all,and having intense conversations with the crows.or the snails that crawled slowly by.
I remember the girl often sung.was painfully shy.I try to remember her..painstakingly dredging up old memories..lost inside a teacup.SreyaM with all her old-worldness and prudence, heard me out. Let me sob.told me about things i needed to know.Web of numbers. I have accepted.as i did earlier.Had no other choice.The little girl had tried to scream her guts out.the little girl hated bribes.the little girl had lost her song.The little girl grew up.Clumsily.

To SreyaM,am still the spoilt baby of the lot,who is yet,as she told me.."ironically mature enough".heh.She scolded me for not having my food properly.."clumsy girl!"and while enjoying a delicious lunch(consisting of pabda mach.paneer.aamer chutney),i realised she is the mum i have always longed for.I love my "surrogate family"hugtoall.

Well,it's good that I won't lose the friendship of fourteen years.and thankgoodness,that it did not end in a bitter note.thanks to SreyaM again for understanding so much.about everything.