Oh i don't really know people,i just pretend to know them and feel important,play around with words,rolling them over,as they pass around smiles.I think i lied to myself,made up elaborate stories to keep myself happy,and now the danger of losing it looms ahead.
i love the lights in the distance as they blink and blind me momentarily,and mourn the loss of the special green book.everything slows down before breaking apart.
And i laugh and eat and put pieces of myself together as they should be,tightening each loop,training them to behave.I put on warmth as a costume and drink a little more.
i watch intently: inane arguments,significant discussions,intellectual gibberish,not so important conversations,television.I watch you,slowly slipping away.i want to stop.
I want to tighten the pieces inside me a little more.I want to talk a little more,about everything and nothing,and of course I can't make sense all the time.I don't want to cry myself to sleep and wonder about it when i wake up.and watch FRIENDS every night as if that would solve everything.I am scared to pretend,am scared of asking for more.

Critic

I looked out of the window.
Thrice.
Maybe was looking for something brighter.
Then I woke you up.
That side of your face,bristly,brushed against mine,
you smiled.
Asked you if you would like some coffee.
I was glad to be on a train,rocking us to sleep.
I was glad to be on the move.
I know you loved the frayed,yellowed interiors.
I know you loved the music.
And that stolen cigarette by the window,the night air cool against our faces.
Your mouth warm against mine.
When there was a knock at the door.
......................