When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose

Because, I thank God every single day that there's Bob Dylan in this world, who has with his raspy voice and his poetry, drawn patterns in my head, even when I have been sad happy destructive destroyed drugged crazy plain bored howling travelling mocking singing. I have loved him all my life, and I love him/will love him more as every day passes, as I grow older & more disillusioned. 

 .....................................

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin' high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
"We'll meet on edges, soon," said I
Proud 'neath heated brow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Half-cracked prejudice leaped forth
"Rip down all hate," I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull, I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Girls' faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, thought, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

A self-ordained professor's tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
"Equality," I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My existence led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

- My Back Pages, Another Side Of Bob Dylan, 1964

oh dear sisters, my brainfucked, beautiful broken ones, the ones with the laughter and spirits as free as the floating birds, the ones whose dark days tie up despair in a tight knot.

oh my free sisters, I crave for our lost times, and our wild streaks.

oh my sisters, emptiness comes and goes like an errant summer breeze, don't let it get to you.

don't let them get you down.

.....

I wish it rained rained rained like crazy across this city, I wish I could be happy. My happy place is so far away, filled with doubt, filled with sadness. I don't know how to calm myself down and repeat in my head some 30 times, like an imbecile that "hey everything will be okay".