They always whisper, changing the atmosphere within our grasp. I light a candle near your face, trying to scrutinise the shadows. I thought memories disappear behind hidden cupboards. But they rear their grotesque little heads often, and we lose our minds.
Mumbai monsoons didn't hit hard this time. Circumstances, however did. Every single day in this city, starting from Day 1 has strengthened me a little more. I don't know if it's going to get tougher, but I know inside that maybe, just maybe, I'll deal with it.
I have started counting my blessings. I'm glad I'm breathing in fresh air everyday, surviving, making beautiful new friends, eating anything, going mad at work, living with you in our lovely new house, talking to my constantly anxious parents, observing beauty in tiny things and meeting lots of dogs and cats.
You and I have gone through the worst, and you have been there at my worst. We have broken each other several times over, me more than you, but you have been the best friend. Currently kind of insane, dealing with a lot of shit, including a terrible temper, and you are helping. I just hope we can build us back, one day at a time. I am your monster, and you still love me. You are my smoo, and I am quite terrible, vindictive, sick. All I can say is thankyou. And despite everything, I love you to death. I loathe myself for hurting you. But I am trying, to change. To become a better person. It's difficult, it really is, but if you are there, I think I'll manage. You make me stronger and weaker at the same time.
Just be there, tell me your stories, good and bad. Break the walls. I hope we can make tents, have so much fun! And, I'll make up for all my mistakes. Try and make us happier and warmer. :) I hope you grow with me.
I realise now that things happen for the best, and it does get worse before better.
