One, two, three. four

If I have been too presumptuous, I sincerely apologise. Last night was special as I realised how love and hate coexist in different vestibules. I am really sorry if I have hurt you. To put it simply, I think i am finally over this entire mess. but I also want to tell you that once upon a time, ancient as it seems now, I really liked you and considered you to be a friend, and for me, that bond was more special than anything else. (I think the photographs are wonderfully warm, by the way)

Memories are strange, you know, even though you think you have deleted particular depressing blue moments, they suddenly creep up on you and then you can only gasp for breath. 

Right now, what we are doing is more important to me than anything else, and God knows we are working our collective asses off. Yes there are times when we feel that it's not going to happen, we won't be able to do anything, and there'll be no revival whatsoever, but then there are euphoric moments, there are moments after a hard day's work when we sit under our tree, and that huge chunk of hope and happiness engulfs us as we feel, no fuck everyone, this is going to work out, we ARE going to make this happen. And it's so beautiful to see every corner of the country responding to us, and getting ecstatic! I can only feel grateful, cross my fingers and hope not to jinx it. 

As brainscrewed as i am, it felt nice to confess.

"Sweetheart bitterheart now I can't tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are"

....................................................................

as a friend said that day: tooo much dramatixx! :D

hey hey hey hey.

To much drama happening! haha. but i stand my ground firmly. Anyone can justify anything, like I can say er, that I can talk to people without an actual conversation happening,. like ourminds are speaking over tens and thousands of currents, or suchlike. I can't be vicious after a certain point, extremely stoned right now. And, well, what i have understood is that some people never change, and well, they are not meant to! Such sincere hatred for noone else in this world. you coward, hope an annoying orange nibbles your brain into tiny pieces.

okay, this is going nowhere
love

Every spring reminds me of the time in school when the tree outside my window started sprouting scarlet flowers, and it was examtime, and always always a bunch of new books from the book fair lying around tempting me to run to the bathroom, sit on the pot for ages and read, read. Or that time when the chhaad in Bijoygarh was ideal for daydreaming, and the cuckoos used to go crazy singing to the tunes inside our heads.
And then stolen hojmi and kaancha aam from Shreo's neighbour, and staying at her house for weeks, and giggling at night over a crush on a class six senior.
Now, there are only  memories, and a tremendous sadness tugs at my throat, and I know the world's all fucked up, it's all strange.