Oh i don't really know people,i just pretend to know them and feel important,play around with words,rolling them over,as they pass around smiles.I think i lied to myself,made up elaborate stories to keep myself happy,and now the danger of losing it looms ahead.
i love the lights in the distance as they blink and blind me momentarily,and mourn the loss of the special green book.everything slows down before breaking apart.
And i laugh and eat and put pieces of myself together as they should be,tightening each loop,training them to behave.I put on warmth as a costume and drink a little more.
i watch intently: inane arguments,significant discussions,intellectual gibberish,not so important conversations,television.I watch you,slowly slipping away.i want to stop.
I want to tighten the pieces inside me a little more.I want to talk a little more,about everything and nothing,and of course I can't make sense all the time.I don't want to cry myself to sleep and wonder about it when i wake up.and watch FRIENDS every night as if that would solve everything.I am scared to pretend,am scared of asking for more.
8 comments:
nicely written...slightly dark,but nice.
and dont worry,we all go through this sometime or the other...just let it be.
i read it today.....and wished maybe you could tell me whats happening to everything....around you... around me...its all so blurred.....may be you could give me words.....
words can get you the wound; words will get you well.
if you believe it.
Tor khata ta CCD te khujechhili??Ami tonno tonno kore bari and garite khujlam!Car mat er tolateo dekhlam,but didn't find it.CCD te jigyesh korish ekbar.cheer up Gangaram.ami jani toke amra "ignore" korchhi khub...can't be helped you see! we've other stuffs to do as well..:D..hugs.tc.ei week bari ashbi.ami ranna kore khawabo.mon kharap baap-baap kore palabe.
ignore...ignore...ignore.....to infinity....ei dekh! kotto ignore korchhi!!
aww...shreyo that was so sweet re..choi ekbaro tui amay bolishni je tui ranna kore khawabi..:(
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances"
Got to play our parts, got to hide, got to mask... its not just you. its all. ALL.
your blog is real good. keep going.
:-)
@Ishi:ami toke khawabo re.provided you're willing to eat paati bhaat-mushur daal-maachher jhol-bhajabhuji.no fancy stuff mind you!
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