Ideate.

Do you like the fishes? =D You can name them you know. Post your name ideas pliss.


Cheers,


Choi.

Soup and more soup. And a knot of anxiety inside your stomach. Films, in between, perfectly in harmony with a twisted head. Memories of a room, and the boundless excitement in the fragrance of your breath. I long, like a poet's dream, I long for you.

I am very very ill. I cannot really think about exams because that'll not help. I am inside a box, and swirls of idonnowhat's are floating around my head, and I am being unable to express, extract, socialise, solidify. It is kind of miserable. youknow? 

You just wreaked havoc on my lovely lovely day. And i cannot even blame you.

Dear God please help me concentrate. I keep reading things NOT a part of the syllabus. Please let me not be distracted.


Also, please cure nausea. And send me more "cheap thrills" and you know what that means.


Choi.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Yet again, college has screwed me over. That is not new, but it'll be old very soon, i fucken promise!
I have this detestable urge to shop when all i should do is just save, save, save. Smoking is such a clandestine affair now that i am home at all conceivable times of the day. Obsessively eating garlic bread, and i want to be silim and tirim and be in a filim. not really. you know, am merely testing my typing speed! Also, People I love  -a sudden list because i am sudden and it is exam time! Bug, HotShot, Waool, Bun, Itchi, Sleazyboy, Earth, Ching, OldnewTwin, the onefrom whom i never get separated, The Applegirl, Ar, also, AS, RD, JSB, UN, Brotha!, DrumSrum, Priest, Soberone( you guys are fucken family) ,hotelectrician, thechineseball, mads, prapa, and oneliitlegirlihaveadopted, fatonecuss. And many more. if your name is not here, it is inside one of my pockets in the HEART. 


All you need is love, love, love...love is all you need. Yes, mister it is a true!

 It is infinitely depressing as to how things change and how they might change. I love the smell taste molecule hair smile. I love every little bit that composes you, makes you so special. I wonder how I am so selfish and unselfish at the same fucken time. It's confusing. Everything that is you, makes me want to want you more. I want you every moment, and I am a little lunatic that way. 

Nothing seems to matter as fury, firmly held in check, threatens to shatter the deceptive calm of your senses. It is only very very ordinary to feel guilty after ravaging any concerned person, or object. 


The more I think about it, the more I do not want to leave, especially because I have this big huge lean mean bug of a reason, and it breaks my heart to even try and wonder about the consequences. I should be clever enough by now so as to completely not submit to nonsensical bullcrap but tragically enough I can never ever be that clever.


Met old friend after ages. Time flew out of the window, as bathed in the neon glow "sensual" (haha) light of her room, we reminisced about idiotic escapades, high school bitches, letters, fights and other such tyrannical things that are so eighteen. (Readers should know that I just stopped myself from scribbling a venomous sentence, ahem, deleted it) So, it was brilliant. Lots of cola float, lots of cigarettes, lots of food, lots of feeding cats happened in between. We have promised to meet soon, as the hiatus was too big the last time. 


I end this post now.

The Bun left for Bombay today. Bitch. Made me sob my heart out. I will miss you a lot, lot, lot. Who'll go to Sudder Street with me, buy those thirty rupee tees off the road, binge on lemon tarts? Also, who will make random noises and sing along with The Moldy Peaches,  and giggle uncontrollably and make the weirdest of discoveries post one joint? Who'll organise and wash hands, and control freaks and what on earth will happen to Wallrush?? Also, idiotic fights and gossip. Come back you idiot, things will be okay, and we'll be on the road again. I love you my mad-bad, pineapple slut. 


=''(

Haha. I was PMS-ing like a bitch. Also, typing last bit of term-paper. Tummy still upside-down. Went and cribbed and sat around at ju today- not bad all in all. Now, in favourite boxers, looking forward to re-read Anne of Ingleside. The weasel-like prof apparently bitched about me in class today, not that I care as I was suffering from cramps and sitting at the poolish canteen, sipping lal chaa. Met favourite curly-headed prof. who warned me about the ill-effects of weather change and asked me not to smoke too much.


have to attend ALL classes from tomorrow. Shite.

I want an insane amount of things and it's only human. Just realised after short, telephonic conversation with friend that term-paper can be submitted day after. Intense joy. Woke up at 3 A.M yesterday to puke, and spent whole day pining for chocopie as the area around my navel throbbed with pain. Tea without milk is blessed. Wallrush happened to be "bigger and badder" as quoted on social networking site by someone i don't know. Hoping Bun keeps her promise and I get to choose whatever I want.

Pining for carnal activity and a few hours with ST in solitude. Only the wretched wolf-like ugly grandma gets in the way. Mean, yes, and right now absolute refusal to be the proverbial "nice girl"

Went out in pitch darkness to buy cigarettes, and happily enough met no curious evening-walking neighbourly face. Only the light from borrowed cellphone, a little-eaten moon in the sky and the regular cries of crickets kept me company.

Time to light another cigarette and visit the loo.