peace.

They gamble with their colourful boxes.
And,the hyenas,deep in the jungle,fill the night air with their shrill cries.
the world,and all the people preserve their sanity for something futile.
Without the demons,the princess loses her way.
And,we,sit beside the old,old tree
With our arms around each other.
The quiet,upside-down moments pass by.
the balderdash entices.
And,the old,old tree smiles back.


the moments are really special.too special to share.too precious.so,i keep them locked inside..and keep my fingers and toes crossed.am delightfully,wonderfully,astonishingly,gloriously blissful.

as for certain people,who do not have the balls to come up to me and say what they really want to,go screw yourselves,please.abominable,pretentious gits.Go get a life.

.....

The evening walked in stealthily today..
as the stifling heat trapped the leaves in a cruel net.
I remember the plausible sky,
tinted with a rosy-orangeish paint.
And i sat down,creating you in little silvery bits,alone,by the sea-
listening to the symphony of the rain,waves,wind..
The sand shifted and shuffled beneath my feet..and i said
that I shall be your luminous dream,when..
the night sky filled with liquid stars and comets.

your languid charm has claimed all my seven worlds..

A diversion often helps.
A sickening,dull pain shimmers near my throat.devious creature.
You shouldn't have told me about the flawed nothingness,
or have stardustbits crumpled in your hands.
I shall call out your name,now.
You will,or not,accept the purple flower,offered by the nymph?
The blurredness all around captivates me,and i want to rip off the ghastly masks.
And,i fall,like a lonesome autumn leaf.

The gloriousness of it all,is startling.

Spring/Scare.

Tell me when the moths died,
When the lilac rainbows lied.
The ancient dread knocks at the door,and melts into giddy flights..
To nowhere.
The paradox surprises.or not.
Yet,far beyond the realm of the purple haze ,twinkles a lonely light,
Filling me with an indescribable warmth..
yet,am scared of the skylark,
lest it be the harbinger of a blue-grey time.
And,suddenly,the endearing smile,
makes me want to hold onto the nearly-torn wings.
Tell me stories.of a lost tomorrow.all the stories that you know.
Till I forget to remember the omniscient dread.
Leave your imprint,so that it never fades.
Tell me stories and unravel the tangled,ugly mess.

slowlanguidslowlanguid.shorter.era of forgiving.slow languid.tell me what you want slow languid and when they came in with a key I showed them the door.sky being there,slave also,also stars.Desperate Day.be me me bees.and birds.Horizons expand.passage to the world.magnified.allow to grow swell expand magnify.Images.Drowning together.hall of Bohemia.Into You.Brambles.no until.Flowflowflow.swim heather sun hills one yellow butterfly.Holding hands..will cross the road.My Hero.Pass by.Appropriate suicide.Stranger fervent.pass by pass by pass by.At the side of hunger.insideoutside way.songs are silent.Solitude.Night Odyssey.Strand sad sea.Aliens.slow love mix me.sudden fleeting smile suddenness talk to me talk to me.slow sudden longing.Songs three songs.for me for you.Child of the leaf.pretty birth nascent star little star upabovetheworldsohigh.me you me you.note note two notes.Christ was born.Danced Shiva.In Mecca,the moon rose high.Pink,checkered turbans.incense.Sunderbans.hundred decades.vegetable love.Andrew marvell.whore dramaqueen nauseating verbal death.normal oddities.donotspit.powerstorypowerplanpowerbriefpowerscript.lost slow languid day.Conniving hag.you me you me you me.slow languid lostday summersweatylost day.don't giggle don't laugh don't giggle.mower mows down the curve of the earth.killkillkill.Die slowly.Despair.the day.you me the galaxy.Windowsill.Cigarette ends.Charred.dreamless night sleepless night.unfazed slumber.accident. bonhomie.Begin the bonfire.Wonderwall.you me you me .two decades you gave birth to my distorted daughter.after me after you.night.flew into the night.Peterpan perfect.Fountainpen.youth of the fountain.son of Satan.Inside my eyes on the doorstep.you me you me.Lick an icecream.purplehaze.fifth dimension.Autumn.dhak.Durga Apu.dhak.meyoumeyoumeyou,do i know you?marry me.Fly off.rogue.songbird.take it away.sicklysweetlonelypukeysmell. me you illusion.songbird hero died.Let me go.closed blue door.Dingy walls.behind it moments infinite.naive.littlechild close your eyes littlechild close your eyes.littlegirl:give me back my brother.sob don't wish sob don't wish.Move don't move.altered age.lusty lust.rationality history notion perception.sum up.inside outside.Breton.sky water.peepee.Black coffee.mend the guitarstrings.song bird songbird write me a song.sing to me.lost little girl cries.songbird write me a song.youmeyoumeyoume.passby,Roadside.the gypsy path.
-peace-

• insane reverie.afternoonclass.slumber.consequence.
  

yet again i had a dream.

well,i have chopped off my hair.almost two weeks back.dear ma freaked out completely and lost her sleep for three days.But then she had had no other choice but to accept. now she is used to it.
That day,i  tried revisiting my childhood days.As i sat curled up on the windowsill,holding on tightly to the grill,at SreyaM's place..the sliver of dull summer sky looked morosely back.those days when innocence had scurried away to the rat-holes..as I tried to hold on to it with my old,teddybear,Baabee.and bits of lollypop.I still fondly and often bitterly,remember the long-haired,small girl with allthewideeyedwonder,sitting by the window at the old house,staring up blankly at the samedullsky,trying to fathom the meaning of it all,and having intense conversations with the crows.or the snails that crawled slowly by.
I remember the girl often sung.was painfully shy.I try to remember her..painstakingly dredging up old memories..lost inside a teacup.SreyaM with all her old-worldness and prudence, heard me out. Let me sob.told me about things i needed to know.Web of numbers. I have accepted.as i did earlier.Had no other choice.The little girl had tried to scream her guts out.the little girl hated bribes.the little girl had lost her song.The little girl grew up.Clumsily.

To SreyaM,am still the spoilt baby of the lot,who is yet,as she told me.."ironically mature enough".heh.She scolded me for not having my food properly.."clumsy girl!"and while enjoying a delicious lunch(consisting of pabda mach.paneer.aamer chutney),i realised she is the mum i have always longed for.I love my "surrogate family"hugtoall.

Well,it's good that I won't lose the friendship of fourteen years.and thankgoodness,that it did not end in a bitter note.thanks to SreyaM again for understanding so much.about everything.