Oh i don't really know people,i just pretend to know them and feel important,play around with words,rolling them over,as they pass around smiles.I think i lied to myself,made up elaborate stories to keep myself happy,and now the danger of losing it looms ahead.
i love the lights in the distance as they blink and blind me momentarily,and mourn the loss of the special green book.everything slows down before breaking apart.
And i laugh and eat and put pieces of myself together as they should be,tightening each loop,training them to behave.I put on warmth as a costume and drink a little more.
i watch intently: inane arguments,significant discussions,intellectual gibberish,not so important conversations,television.I watch you,slowly slipping away.i want to stop.
I want to tighten the pieces inside me a little more.I want to talk a little more,about everything and nothing,and of course I can't make sense all the time.I don't want to cry myself to sleep and wonder about it when i wake up.and watch FRIENDS every night as if that would solve everything.I am scared to pretend,am scared of asking for more.

Critic

I looked out of the window.
Thrice.
Maybe was looking for something brighter.
Then I woke you up.
That side of your face,bristly,brushed against mine,
you smiled.
Asked you if you would like some coffee.
I was glad to be on a train,rocking us to sleep.
I was glad to be on the move.
I know you loved the frayed,yellowed interiors.
I know you loved the music.
And that stolen cigarette by the window,the night air cool against our faces.
Your mouth warm against mine.
When there was a knock at the door.
......................

Drink to That.

I would like to apologize for all the smiles
when I thought that the sun would shine so bright,warming
one side of my face.
Beyond the dust am looking for something,beyond this circle,
I have a sore spot-something which I can't place,something which can't be real,something which is not happy.
I can't redeem.Or compensate.
I can't put on a fake smile.I can't not help.
Am no guardian angel or anything.
Am just an ordinary,commonplace person,beyond which I Can't see.
There is a sore spot.I can't place it yet.

The holidays have been wonderful..really.Had a glorious time..doing nothing,studying zilch..walking around,shooting little bits,getting high,being totally starry-eyed..but it's the end of it now.College is starting from Monday and the attendance-shit is bugging me.but to hell with that..what an amazing pujo i had this year..everything was very special indeed..and so the wonderful days deserve this tiny piece of post..i guess..
so long.
i have to get back to serious,hard work.
-sigh-

today,after ages,i am having a lovely,homey time.Despite the sore throat and the persistent toothache.No one's at home.Cooked chicken and had a happy,full lunch.Smoked in peace.Had a long comfortable bath..without no one screaming:"Are you sleeping in the loo?" =)
Listening to Susheela Raman.That woman is amazing,i tell you.
After the last few hectic weeks of the shoot,it feels fantastic..
Now,I shall go and watch Scanner Darkly and eat chocopie.
Cheers to me and lazymaking.

Season.

The mellow sunshine is charming...i really like the way..as i lean out of my window..it envelops me in a warm embrace..
To think that a year ago I din't know that there was someone like you in this world..=)
.........
I want to bottle your smell and store it inside an ancient cupboard.
.....
" And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes,But If the Silence
takes you there,I hope it takes me too.
So brown eyes I hold you near,cause you are the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.."

Am sipping a cup of citrus tea and nursing a deliciously sad blue feeling. -sigh-
The last few days were magnificent..that being an understatement.
Am rather devoid of words right now..
Am feeling restless and sad.the streets are so empty....
Shubho bijoya everyone.

all that.

yes,this cold is killing me.NOW.as the cityair reeks of pujo and everything good.And,i am hopeless about certain things..like The Beatles,midnight,and the mountains..am missing them terribly,terribly..it's been almost a year that i haven't breathed in the fresh,tingly air..or walked those narrow,quiet,steep roads..i wish i could just wake up one morning,pack my bags and leave..
and i walk around swathed in green..past the roads which screech out your name,past the shadows above and below,
it's THEN..when the importance of being NORMAL hits you.
I've had enough of multiple people speaking inside my head.
Don't you realise..I wear your words as an armour and place them side by side on my flattened skull..as they turn into poetry..full of indefinite lines.
I've had enough of mornings.
.
Don't you realise i want you to belong to me wholly..like a brazen,brilliant desert wind..
and i've had enough of uncertain centuries,dramatising,and journals.
and i have infinite things to tell you today and everyday.like,
dreamless cities..toothless aches..

Swoon.

Me thinks Across the Universe is freakin brilliant.
I love the way the film has been handled..with the Vietnam War as a backdrop..I love the radiance of every single shot..The contemporary psychedelic madness has been recreated perfectly..wonderfully trippy.it is.And I fell in love with The Beatles all over again..if that is possible..
I must say in the end what matters is : peace,love and sunshine..
The "Strawberry Fields Forever" sequence is my particular favourite.
Ze peopleses who haven't experienced the film yet :GOH watch it!!!

Musings after overthinking over film.

Reeku's scribbles made a lot of sense today.and I really liked it...especially these bits..

"..What happens next will knock you out.like a blast from the past or a triple vodka shot.you will fall to the ground and feel the mud against your delicate skin.Wake up,darling,this is the real world calling.you've been away for too long.....This may not interest you but this is my life......I have the urge to create.Create something beautiful.Something I can look back on and be proud of,something that will make me happy.The problem is,I don't think I will know,anytime soon atleast,what that something is.SO i pick a star and stare at it.."

" I hope your rules and wisdom choke you."

"..I just want to do,everything..I don't want any one of you fuckers to interfere,come in my way.The world is mine and you are not real.."

We all thought volumes,with aggression and humour,and came to the conclusion that too many cooks indeed spoil the broth..and we needed "the push"..or one line.Dunno where we are headed but..i am looking forward to it all..Chaos theory,treasured trifles,pavement people,Questions.and a tribute.

Where Are you Going

Where are you going
With the long face pulling down
Dont hide away like an ocean
But you can see, but you can smell and the sound
Of your waves coming down
I am no superman not at all
But I have no answers for you
I am no hero, and thats for sure
But I do know one thing
Where you go, is where I want to be
Where are you going?
Where do you go?
Are you looking for answers
For reasons under the stars
If along the way, you are growing weary
You can rest with me until a brighter day
I am no superman, thats for sure
And I have no answers, yeah
I am no hero, oh dont you know~
But I do know one thing,
Where you are is where I belong
Where you go, I do know, is where I belong
Where are you going, with your beautiful face looking down
Dont hide away
You are like an ocean
That I cant see, but I can smell and the sound
Of your waves coming down
I am no superman, thats for sure
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh not at all
I do know one thing, where you are is where I belong
Where you are is where I want to be.

this is because it's true.this is because i want it to be..this is because of the cluelessness.this is because of everyday,you,the world and the rain.and the us people story.

we are essentially drifters.aren't we.
terrible green monster attack today.
pointless also.
can my memories.and put them away.

Reve de Juillet

Lonely afternoons with a disarming quietness outside
broken by one cough,when I can give up the entire world for you,and like
the aftertaste of your nearness..tears flow and I wrap
a precious piece of your hair around my finger,a little broken..your sky fills my head with a madgirl fervour and I try preserving this perfect world,as the next moment brings fear of the wretched..of the unknown silence,from your window-the alluring grey windswept citysong
and inside your song I want to live again-citywalls and stillframes..
create you suddenly
and whisper your name with a sealed prayer,as you spin tunes of the earth..

Pepper

I want words to paint it tungsten,to char my fingertips,to have darkness around me,to look at the sun..I want words to agonize,to rake my fingernails down your back,to create names,to stop the rain,to humour and have glowworms by my bedside..I want words to die in love,to wish for green umbrellas out of the empty nothings,to light the last cigarette of the day..I need words to drown in yesterday's ocean,to scream,to embarrass,to be vain..

randomblah

yes..everyone knows by now that I hate being stuck at home,with an awful,horrible cold..thriving principally on antibiotics and getting majorly high on coughsyrup..no,am NOT a coughsyrup khor..;) anyway..stoopido viruso.
during this time..I realised: 1) I detest flies.and they'll do anything to buzz and gnuzz the life out of you..especially when you are shivering under your quilt and was just about to fall asleep.
2) Feeling ugly sucks.
3)Chocolate chip cookies are a saviour. =) also,plain lovely steaming chicken stew.
4)Significance of certain insignificant,hideous,hypocritical,hateful people is weird.
5)It's funny as to how gullible I always have been and how uberly stupid.
6) Aren't kittties ze cootesht and ze fuzzhiesht and the most comfortable creatures on planet?
7) and where would I have been without you all? -moisteyes- no,seriously.

Also..certain songs am hooked to at the moment..
Let Go :Frou Frou.
Brighter than Sunshine : Aqualung ;) :D -sigh-
Wolf at the Door :Radiohead
Seven Years :Norah Jones (all time favourite..its me kindred song)
Soul Meets Body : Death Cab For Cutie. daroon.
Mr.Big : To Be With You. :)
Am all shook up and Jailhouse rock: Elvis always cheers me up..(gimme a doughnut,Shreo!)
Suddenly I see: KT Tunstall
High and Dry: Radiohead
Hurt :Nine Inch Nails
Megh peon : the Titli soundtrack because it reminds me of the hills.
Sunshine on my shoulders :Denver.

M

Defenseless on the ground I lay.
Tonight I won't stare for so long at the paint in the corner,peeling off,as I was extricated from your flesh and bone..
Preciously guarded adolescent secrets,questions,
the fragrance of hatred seemed to wear off,slowly..as I never ran to you as I wanted to-
and inhale the warmth of the free end of your sharee..
that I longed for like the yellow gates of an unknown building.

Again I sailed past the busy streets,
-a vagrant,as the sordidness around troubled and throbbed with the city lights.

It was savage enough to have drawn an old scar..
I wonder if it will be loved enough,again-,I wonder
if it will have enough sunshine.
you could have told me stories,instead of fabricating such an ugly
web of moments..

I could have remained a mere mound of flesh,a lost fairytale,a hundred-year dream,
a never-to-be uttered August fable.

I could have.

The evening that is.

The morning begun on a sad note..with me spilling coffee all over the table.However,mum ignored my blasphemous act by not screaming at me.I was bundled off happily to one of my best-friend-aunt's place..and she greeted me by telling me I look like a dope-addict and a nongra hippie..as an afterthought she hugged me and told me I look like a New York ka bhikhari..dunno what she tried to imply..but she also told me she loved me all the same.thankgoodnessforthat.heh.we rushed upstairs and had a long,long chat..after a really long time..and I was glad to find she was still as mad and as cool as ever..she told me about the latest developments..mesho's berserkness,dada's "bride-hunting" thingy..i could write a novel on that..it's ludicrous and hilarious..mashi sighed melodramatically.." Why doesn't he fall in love?"..well,poor dada!:D she declared her headache was gone with all my blabbering and we cooked together,not stopping the adda even for a moment..and then,after lunch,Pakhidi who has come down from Delhi,called.. and in her characteristic way commanded that we three just had to go for a movie,and catch up..
It started to rain..and mashi's place is like a dream when it's raining..I was having a quiet moment with myself, and she quoted smilingly..but thankfully didn't ask me any question.=) the rickshawwallah was pedalling slowly,and we felt so happy and nice,with the cobweb-like-drizzle and the drawing-of-lines across puddles..and the dreamy rainyness of it all. Pakhidi is still the cute,little dawling and after exulting for a few moments we realised that we were fifteen minutes late for the film..well,Chalo Let's Go made us all long for the hills violently.it's a nice film..but the narrative is rather jerky.maybe that was intentional..jaihok..it was fun.we had koraishotir kochuri and coffee after the film..and had intense adda..the conversation naturally veered towards berate jaoa which is not happening,sadly enough.What with the situation in NorthBengal and the busy schedule of Pakhidi,Saswatidi and me..we planned though..maybe a two-day trip during December..the four of us..and with the sharing of memories, snippets of philosophical speculations, laughter and poetry.. three hours passed so fast..me and Pakhidi sneaked out once and had a little chat about things which even mashi can't know..
These little,warm evenings mean such a lot..the cosiness,the conversation,the unspoken bond,stories,updates,leg-pulling and plans..and observations..and it's so cool to have such a coolcrazy aunt,I tell you.:)

happyhigh :D

I so feel at home nowadays..it's a warm,homey feeling with all the good things around me like fudgecookies, music and this overwhelming love filling me with boundless,insane joy..and this happiness I cherish..the songs play hide-and-seek..and this foreverness I adore..and I really love walking,matching footsteps with you,it's like walking down the hilly roads and losing oneself in the delightful fairy-dells here and there..where the lush green is dappled with sunshine and dreamy bits of shadow..where all the wonders mingle,and the good,old songs never end..it's like finding myself all over again and writing lousy poetry on happy yellow flowers..it's like tucking that flower behind my ear and having crumbly jam-tarts..it's like driving down the road to nowwhere,with the intense,scathing bluesky above,and the rain making music at the windowpane..it's like feeling reeeeeeeely good after watching When Harry Met Sally..it's like wishing upon a cloud..and watching a perfect,six-sided leaf float slowly down..and fear flees from this wonderful world,as tonight,after a long,long time..I sleep in peace.

It feels so good,indeed.-happysigh-

Boy

I sit by his window..I adore
him and his shadow.

I dream.
Of Neverland.

Leaf

Falls.SweptAway.Clings.BlownAway.Holds.Dust.Glitter.Shit.

Arcana

It all seems so alien.
Protests,gunfires.
Worries,investments,calculations.
the dimness startlingly reassures me.
Today's menu:Curry.
Tomorrow's destination:Unknown Premises.

Seed

Idia never meant to crawl under the table and look for the broken,blue teacup.Yet,as the cat crawled past her to pounce upon the rather maroon,rather giant cockroach,she did.She conceived a day later.Her husband merely grunted his happiness.Idia carefully glued it back and fed the cat.

Twelve/Appropriate

The images of a favourite summer day,
With tiny flowers strewn in the way..

A knee.
To see.

One night,
I might..

just give it all up,and die..
under the cider sky.

blahlala.

oh,well,the days are again playing tricky games with me.though for once I like them;).
I reeely reeely need to slog hard,but as the eggjam thingy approaches,I start developing interest in every other thing..apart from Restoration Prose and Drama or *groan*Pride and Prejudice.
My bad hair days shall never end.Now it refuses to grow in the direction it should..well.
And yes,do you expect me to study,of all things,now??
People seem strange when you don't know them well,nah?
And yes,I think too much.
These little things bother me,but dunnowhy.
And,I prepared dinner yesterday.after a long time.and was singing at the top of my voice while doing so,and smiling,causing mum to go berserk with curiosity.
Ah,well.-sigh-:D

paranoia..with gilded wings embraced her..tonight the salt of your skin is all hers..today like the toopretty red sunset..she believes in the promises of the knights and the nightless stars..her sword gleamed a bright silver..yes,she wanted to immerse herself in one isolated strip of the dusty road..she wanted your smile to be all hers..she refused to step outside your universe..she didn't.
dangerous white birds hallucinated..her tiny,afterglow of nightmares..sobbed,buried herself in pointless grief..The Insides curled up.. despairing..she prayed for your night sky..she curled up and slept..comforted by the throb at the right side of your throat..she holds onto you..the massacred insides quietly die..

Why am I such a dumb jackass?????????
fuckit.
And I should definitely clean my goddamn ears!
fuckit.




bleh.

Na,it's just me.who is gruffy.-sigh-Why.Why.Why.do i think so much?
Anyway,I detest the authority in college.fuckit.
and,yes,yes,i am jumping over rainbows...just hold me when i trip.du-h.
Film Studies work,almost done.
And,all I got to hear throughout the shoot was:"Choi!Get out!"(hehehe)
and,yesyes that also...-grin-
and,i do not like Today much.
Dhoooooooooooooooooooooooor.

peace.

They gamble with their colourful boxes.
And,the hyenas,deep in the jungle,fill the night air with their shrill cries.
the world,and all the people preserve their sanity for something futile.
Without the demons,the princess loses her way.
And,we,sit beside the old,old tree
With our arms around each other.
The quiet,upside-down moments pass by.
the balderdash entices.
And,the old,old tree smiles back.


the moments are really special.too special to share.too precious.so,i keep them locked inside..and keep my fingers and toes crossed.am delightfully,wonderfully,astonishingly,gloriously blissful.

as for certain people,who do not have the balls to come up to me and say what they really want to,go screw yourselves,please.abominable,pretentious gits.Go get a life.

.....

The evening walked in stealthily today..
as the stifling heat trapped the leaves in a cruel net.
I remember the plausible sky,
tinted with a rosy-orangeish paint.
And i sat down,creating you in little silvery bits,alone,by the sea-
listening to the symphony of the rain,waves,wind..
The sand shifted and shuffled beneath my feet..and i said
that I shall be your luminous dream,when..
the night sky filled with liquid stars and comets.

your languid charm has claimed all my seven worlds..

A diversion often helps.
A sickening,dull pain shimmers near my throat.devious creature.
You shouldn't have told me about the flawed nothingness,
or have stardustbits crumpled in your hands.
I shall call out your name,now.
You will,or not,accept the purple flower,offered by the nymph?
The blurredness all around captivates me,and i want to rip off the ghastly masks.
And,i fall,like a lonesome autumn leaf.

The gloriousness of it all,is startling.

Spring/Scare.

Tell me when the moths died,
When the lilac rainbows lied.
The ancient dread knocks at the door,and melts into giddy flights..
To nowhere.
The paradox surprises.or not.
Yet,far beyond the realm of the purple haze ,twinkles a lonely light,
Filling me with an indescribable warmth..
yet,am scared of the skylark,
lest it be the harbinger of a blue-grey time.
And,suddenly,the endearing smile,
makes me want to hold onto the nearly-torn wings.
Tell me stories.of a lost tomorrow.all the stories that you know.
Till I forget to remember the omniscient dread.
Leave your imprint,so that it never fades.
Tell me stories and unravel the tangled,ugly mess.

slowlanguidslowlanguid.shorter.era of forgiving.slow languid.tell me what you want slow languid and when they came in with a key I showed them the door.sky being there,slave also,also stars.Desperate Day.be me me bees.and birds.Horizons expand.passage to the world.magnified.allow to grow swell expand magnify.Images.Drowning together.hall of Bohemia.Into You.Brambles.no until.Flowflowflow.swim heather sun hills one yellow butterfly.Holding hands..will cross the road.My Hero.Pass by.Appropriate suicide.Stranger fervent.pass by pass by pass by.At the side of hunger.insideoutside way.songs are silent.Solitude.Night Odyssey.Strand sad sea.Aliens.slow love mix me.sudden fleeting smile suddenness talk to me talk to me.slow sudden longing.Songs three songs.for me for you.Child of the leaf.pretty birth nascent star little star upabovetheworldsohigh.me you me you.note note two notes.Christ was born.Danced Shiva.In Mecca,the moon rose high.Pink,checkered turbans.incense.Sunderbans.hundred decades.vegetable love.Andrew marvell.whore dramaqueen nauseating verbal death.normal oddities.donotspit.powerstorypowerplanpowerbriefpowerscript.lost slow languid day.Conniving hag.you me you me you me.slow languid lostday summersweatylost day.don't giggle don't laugh don't giggle.mower mows down the curve of the earth.killkillkill.Die slowly.Despair.the day.you me the galaxy.Windowsill.Cigarette ends.Charred.dreamless night sleepless night.unfazed slumber.accident. bonhomie.Begin the bonfire.Wonderwall.you me you me .two decades you gave birth to my distorted daughter.after me after you.night.flew into the night.Peterpan perfect.Fountainpen.youth of the fountain.son of Satan.Inside my eyes on the doorstep.you me you me.Lick an icecream.purplehaze.fifth dimension.Autumn.dhak.Durga Apu.dhak.meyoumeyoumeyou,do i know you?marry me.Fly off.rogue.songbird.take it away.sicklysweetlonelypukeysmell. me you illusion.songbird hero died.Let me go.closed blue door.Dingy walls.behind it moments infinite.naive.littlechild close your eyes littlechild close your eyes.littlegirl:give me back my brother.sob don't wish sob don't wish.Move don't move.altered age.lusty lust.rationality history notion perception.sum up.inside outside.Breton.sky water.peepee.Black coffee.mend the guitarstrings.song bird songbird write me a song.sing to me.lost little girl cries.songbird write me a song.youmeyoumeyoume.passby,Roadside.the gypsy path.
-peace-

• insane reverie.afternoonclass.slumber.consequence.
  

yet again i had a dream.

well,i have chopped off my hair.almost two weeks back.dear ma freaked out completely and lost her sleep for three days.But then she had had no other choice but to accept. now she is used to it.
That day,i  tried revisiting my childhood days.As i sat curled up on the windowsill,holding on tightly to the grill,at SreyaM's place..the sliver of dull summer sky looked morosely back.those days when innocence had scurried away to the rat-holes..as I tried to hold on to it with my old,teddybear,Baabee.and bits of lollypop.I still fondly and often bitterly,remember the long-haired,small girl with allthewideeyedwonder,sitting by the window at the old house,staring up blankly at the samedullsky,trying to fathom the meaning of it all,and having intense conversations with the crows.or the snails that crawled slowly by.
I remember the girl often sung.was painfully shy.I try to remember her..painstakingly dredging up old memories..lost inside a teacup.SreyaM with all her old-worldness and prudence, heard me out. Let me sob.told me about things i needed to know.Web of numbers. I have accepted.as i did earlier.Had no other choice.The little girl had tried to scream her guts out.the little girl hated bribes.the little girl had lost her song.The little girl grew up.Clumsily.

To SreyaM,am still the spoilt baby of the lot,who is yet,as she told me.."ironically mature enough".heh.She scolded me for not having my food properly.."clumsy girl!"and while enjoying a delicious lunch(consisting of pabda mach.paneer.aamer chutney),i realised she is the mum i have always longed for.I love my "surrogate family"hugtoall.

Well,it's good that I won't lose the friendship of fourteen years.and thankgoodness,that it did not end in a bitter note.thanks to SreyaM again for understanding so much.about everything.

you have turned me upside down.and I am topsy turvy.writing you a letter.the bluebird came down.asked for a worm.remain a stranger.bitter,weird.delved into you.sing me a song for sixpence.a lullaby.ask me to leave the kingdom.shall walk your path.count the stars in your sky.so tired.leaves have fallen.tired..tyres..crushing.no one.oneanother.eyes..stare.stairs leading to to the highway.red stare.void and null.zero clarity.zilch.synonimity.want.water.want.

Betrothal.

Trapped.killed inside.
The bird,plucked bare
Flutters its miserable little wings.
To fly into the night.
The yearning is palpable..
In the music of his heart.
It is dead now,lying hidden inside a heap of old ash.

The healthy,thriving,pathetic population survives.
Hardly mourns.

randomness yet again.

Well,I pierced my nose.On an impulse.just went and did it.I have been doing a lot of things on impulse these days.And oof,the heat is unbearable.even though when am in college,or anywhere else(read:footpath!)i rarely feel it.Today was a good day.after quite a few days of despondency,solemnness and reticence.Lots of us were sitting and playing nice,clappy games and making a complete fool of ourselves and loving it.Man,sometimes i really want to work my ass off.so that being immersed I forget everything else.planning to do that.results:well average yet again.what should one expect?listening to ONLY Dave mAtthews Band,Jimi Hendrix,And Norah Jones nowadays,weird mix.yeah.so.fuck off.I adore all O em.Have been suffering from intense bouts of loneliness,crabby moods and rudeness.well that's that.Was at J.U the other day.had phun.And that's THAT.

duck.

knotty messy
crappy life.
fill me with distaste.
let go.
retain peace.blow bubbles.
go green.
endless smoke.
insane laughter.
and a green tree.
over a grey footpath.
and the naive dog.

Monochrome.

It's been a long time since
I truly sobbed my heart out.
Have stopped thinking about the screams ensuing everynight.
I was blissful in the light.
Wrapped in the cosiness of a mistake.

Yet again,I long to soar.
High above the menacing clouds.
The rain will drench me,cling to me,
Like elves's wings-little drops of pleasure.
yes,I long to sin.
Dream of the sunshine.
Write letters beside a crooked house on a mountaintop.
And let the wind blow them away.
All the babble and the words,the blur and the bubble.
The empty hole in the house.

Loosen the rope around my neck.let me breathe.
Let me in.

it's that odd mix.of days.days filled with hopes,and dashed hopes,new dreams,plays,classes,French,friends,fun,Mad Angles,,music etc.Somewhere in between,i often get lost.Dada got married.And in the glow of his happiness everydayness seemed pretty.Weaved a whole lot of colours through that dirty cloth.Blushed.Wore sarees.And shot pictures.Loadsa.Of the bride who's a partner in crime and giggles.the rituals.Of three days of unadulterated warmth.of the tiny little bits which form a new piece of puzzle.of shubhodrishti,shindoor,shankha pola,and golda chingri. of running all around the place.getting praised and scolded and spoilt by a multitude of mashi,pishi,meshos and jethu's.of teasing dada.of the nostalgia at the old,old house.
Family weddings are wonderful.

French eggjam was quite okay.and at am clueless about what's happening at the studyfront in college.
otherwise,everything's pretty much the same.

And for the brown-eyed stranger.The mist seems new.

And i had had my fill of the mountains.It was a lovely trip.lovely being an understatement.I had thought of penning down every bit of it.but then I decided against it.some things just cannot be expressed in words.I loved Yuksum the best.a small,sleepy village surrounded by the mighty misty mountains.there was this little school.and the rosy-cheeked kids were a happy,mischeivous lot,always ready to pose for a snap.I have absolutely made up my mind to build a house there.and teach those kids.people usually begin their trek from there.Ru bungla was a beautiful place too but very quiet and so cold.We got the news of the assassination of Bhutto.The people out there are so poor yet so happy and blissful.they are not at all aware of what's going on in the world.they work so hard to make a living that they really don't care.yet in a survey it was discovered that Sikkim is the poorest yet the happiest state.am just rambling on because it's really impossible for me to describe the indescribable beauty,warmth,loveliness of the place.

The new year has begun with a great deal of zeal what with Xavotsav coming up,French exams,new places to discover,new plans to be made..a new start for R too.Though i really do NOT want to make resolutions specially:"I shall lose weight."Gah.I love my curves and i do not intend to lose them so easily.people change and I guess,i have changed a bit too.however,i really do not understand that much about the rapidly fluctuating changes in various facets of Moi.hehe.And I welcomed the new year with loadsa lyadh and isn't "the kite runner" an astonishingly wonderful book?I loved it.

College is fun and I intend to have unadulterated fun for a month,at least..oof am tired of studying so much.I just want to hang around,talk nonsense,annoy people and do all the crazy stuff.So stay put.

Dusk to Dawn

oh,listen.
Beyond it all,
There was light.Colours.Glitter.
And the wink of a beholder.
The mountains sombre and serene.
Winter in a chilly thrill.

[pause]

Yes,and i sense your solitude
I want to wrap my arms around you.
Am scared of your ache.
Scared to near death.

I want that warm,orange dusk
And hold you this close.
Nearby,there would be the star-spangled unknown..

On light feet your fingers tiptoed.

[the incessant song of crickets]

Unfurled like the new leaves in spring,
We drank our innocence.
Remnants of our glory,
We will pick after the lazy evening.

Meanwhile we shall tell some stories.